the friends we make along the way
the friends we make along the way
a quick ode to the friends you make in eating disorder treatment
a quick ode to the friends you make in eating disorder treatment
Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman wrote in Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close: “As humans, we are all thoroughly shaped by the people we know and love. Day to day, our friends influence our tastes and our moods. Long term, they can also affect how we feel about our bodies, how we spend our money, and the political views we hold. We grow in response to each other, in ways both intentional and subconscious.”
It’s the little, fleeting moments between people that build big friendships; it’s a knowing glance or a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. It’s the passing of tissues because they can sense tears are gathering in your eyes or excitedly asking how your date went last night. It’s a witty call back to a joke you made yesterday, or a “good luck!” text before an interview.
These building block moments of friendship happen in a pressure cooker at eating disorder treatment. The bond that can form is unlike any other I’ve experienced.
When you have an eating disorder, it’s excruciating having to confront your demons every time you sit down for a meal. But there’s so much comfort knowing that the person sitting next to you is struggling, too. They understand what the war within you is like. They cheer for you when you finish your water, and offer a “cheers!” as you both sip on your nutritional supplement.
It’s not having to explain, but knowing you have the space to share. It’s someone listening to your story, and nodding along in a way that says I understand, because me too. It’s peeling back layers of yourself, together.
Even in this season of gratitude, I resist the idea that I am ~thankful~ for my eating disorder, because I don’t believe we need to suffer in order to be presented with good things in life. BUT (!!!) the friends I’ve made in eating disorder treatment — both this time around and from residential treatment in 2020 — are people I’ll cherish forever. I am so grateful to have found them.
I would have likely never crossed paths with almost all of the people I’ve met in treatment. We are different ages, from different places, have different lived experiences. But they’ve sat with me in darkness, and have seen a light in me that I forgot could shine.
Moving to Portland last winter was a massive change. It’s felt lonely at times. I miss the communities I have on the East Coast. But a few weeks ago, I hosted a little “graduation” party for one of the people in my program who just completed their intensive outpatient treatment. I had forgotten how delicious it is to have your home bubble with laughter. We talked, played games, snacked on a charcuterie board (a huge win for all of us!!!). My apartment is still vibrating with joy weeks later.
So, this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for these friends. I’m thankful for the little ways we show up for and comfort each other. I’m thankful to have people I can heal alongside with.